It is amazing how words seem just that when all you are doing is listening or reading. Amazing too, how some words, when crowded together, maybe in the same breath, do something more than just stand in a queue, formally called a sentence, and shout, “Read , read!”. Ordinarily, they’d just be ball bearings, rolled in between ruled blue lines, while a high school essay, a newspaper headline, a suicide note or an alimony contract slides over them, as smoothly as possible. That, nonetheless, is why language was invented. To be as effective a vehicle for thought as can be. To provide little or no friction to communication. To be a mute canvas, a non conflicting backdrop for human interaction. Quite.
Here’s a short story. A long time, let us say, four score and eighty hundred years, ago a fine gentleman noticed something funny. Or maybe someone else before him did, but was afraid to own up to it for fear of being branded a heretic and burnt, or being drawn and quartered, or disembowelled/dismembered. Or maybe he was straight and just wasn’t amused by funny things since most of whatever they called life then wasn’t. In any case, we had a eureka moment. Or wait, what if it was before Archimedes? Sheesh ! Digressions kill. So do indigestions. Either way, our man was walking down the Bridge on this beautifully bright day when lo and behold ! he heard someone shout, ” Baked buns, blueberry biscuits, buy a bunch, get a bunch free !”. Yeah, okay, so i added that last bit !.
Our man, who we’ll call Bob for the story’s sake, was befuddled and beguiled. What was it? Surely, ’twas not illegal for people to sell their ware on the street. This generally needed making some noise as a device to attract attention too. What then was so unmistakably ungainly about the whole affair ?! And then, right when he crossed the orchid seller who beat his wife every Wednesday, it hit him. He jumped for joy while the epiphany eluded everyone else.
Bob died of Beriberi on his Birthday. Sheesh !
Alliteration is one of the many ways of rusting the aforementioned bearings of language, metaphorically. Metaphor is another. Figures of speech provide flavor and flair to the dry as desert structure of common word usage. This is accomplished by breaking the flow of thought transmission by a sudden change in semantic structure; either incongruous, or more than average lyrical, or just plain weird. The reaction is a subconscious equivalent of “What the …?!”. Precisely because the effect isn’t very pronounced, it provides the occasional clever court jester opportunity to show off for the Queen and the occasional slick marketing executive chance to get an inside track with the target buyer.
Consider alliterations, again. Ever wondered why all tongue twisters are, almost without exception, alliterative in nature ? Okay, so this crackpot allegory may have no neuro/psycho logical backing but is it a really huge leap of imagination to assume that maybe, there’s a fixed, finite quota of each alphabet, or more generally, each sound, in the universe ?! And that , maybe, the universe prefers lower entropy, phonetically. So maybe, it’s the universe’s fault that she can’t sell sea shells at the sea shore. The universe would seem to be against this particular figure of speech, though this certainly doesn’t explain the Big Bang, its alliterative genesis. But then nothing much explains the Big Bang so we may as well skip this inconsistency. Whichever reason suffices, it’s kind of an established fact that our brains slow down while processing alliterative structures. And that momentary lapse of reason is precisely what the poet and the copywriter hopes and aims for. Trust me on this one, this was what was on Richard Wilbur’s mind when he wrote Junk:
Of plastic playthings, paper plates.
and on Walt Disney’s, when he created that legend of a rodent, Mickey Mouse and the equally famous feather ball Donald Duck. What do you think of Archie Andrews, Jughead Jones, Dilton Doiley and Moose Mason ?! Want superheroes ? Peter Parker. Bruce Banner. Clark Kent is phonetically alliterative. Meanwhile, Lois Lane, Lana Lang, Lex Luther and Lionel Luther are every which way. Coca Cola is alliterative. So is the World Wide Web. I wonder if there’s much that isn’t.
Heard through the grapevine ( which essentially means I made this up , which in turn means I expect unmitigated admiration and worship for creating this awesome a thing !)
Q : Why doesn’t it take ‘four’ to tango ?
A : Beacause that’s not alliterative !
I don’t have much else to write. I’ll just reiterate the universe’s sentiments, that someday, there’s gotta be about enough of crazy, cheesy and crappy alliterations. Borrowed heavily from the 1999 movie Mystery Men, when the three protagonists are trying to decide what they’ll call their superhero group.
- - Wait! Wait, that’s it. We are the Super Squad.
- - No, no! Alliteration in these situations is corny.
I wonder how that much fits a tiny head. But then, like you said, Marijuana helps.
Get that jaw fixed soon, you’ll have to practice those tongue twisters yourself.
Keep writing dude. We love it out of the world
Very different, very refreshing and very very intelligent.